Sunday, September 12, 2010

Chapter 11 You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds andRegina Spektor

First of all thanks to everyone who's been reading. If you haven't been listening to the music I'd encourage you to do so. Big shout out to Mel for commenting on every chapter. You're a nut.
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You Don’t Know Me - Ben Folds & Regina Spektor.

October has been amazing. The team was doing well with only two losses. Sure there were injuries starting to pile up and Sarah was busy keeping track of everyone though it was mostly the training staff who made decisions on when people could play. For her it was hard to see the guys go out not completely healed but it was part of being a professional athlete. They had been doing this for years and were used to dealing with the pain. She was sure to give them each a lecture every chance she got usually when they were in an ice bath and couldn’t walk away from her. For awhile they had taken to eye rolling but she had long ago mastered the ‘mom look’ that stuck fear into the inner little boys. So they had to sit there in the cold water and listen to her.

It was their longest break in a few weeks… three days between games and everyone was pleased to have an entire day without practice or a game. Sarah and Kris had been seeing a lot of one another and had made plans to spend the day apart and meet for dinner out like real dating people.
Traveling with the team was great and there was nothing like traveling with someone to really get to know them or at least that’s what she thought. She had expressed to him that although she loved the team she was missing the hospital and was fearing her critical care skills were going to drop off. She knew it was going to be hard but when they had long breaks she was going to pick up shifts at the hospital again. He hadn’t liked the idea knowing how tired and over worked it could make her but he understood and in the end gave in to it being ‘her decision’. It was obvious he wasn’t happy about it but she had chosen to ignore his opinion on the matter.
With her day off Sarah had done a bit of shopping and stopped by the hospital both to put her name in the pool for picking up shifts on the days she could and to visit her favorite little guy as well as best friend. “Hey Mal.” Sarah said hanging on the nurses station reaching for Jason’s chart.
“You!” Mal said obviously shocked and pleased to see her friend. “What the hell are you doing here on your day off?” she asked looking at her friend.
Sarah grimaced looking at Jason’s chart. “They’re talking about bone marrow soon aren’t they?” she asked looking from the chart to Mal. Her friend just nodded. “Yeah they started him donating his own now.” Sarah nodded. “Before I leave you’re going to test me to see if I’m a match.”
“No way Sarah you’re insane. His family will never accept that.”
“They will if it’s from an organ donor which is what they’ll be told. Since I technically am one.”
Mal knew there was no fighting with Sarah when she made her mind up about something. “fine but if they find out it’s all on you sister.”
“You’re the best Mal. Now will you put these back there? I have to change before I meet Kris for dinner but I want to visit my favorite little guys.” passing the bags over the counter she saw Mal’s grin and rolled her eyes.
“Yes that is going great. We’ll have to get lunch on your day off and I’ll tell you more.”
“Damn straight you’ll tell me more.”
Sarah smiled to her find fanning herself before heading down the hall for Jason’s room.
For most people taking the afternoon with an ill little boy was a horrid way to spend your free time. For Sarah it was a great way to spend an afternoon. They played crazy 8’s and a few rounds of connect four before Mal came down to get Sarah to do the test. It was just a short blood test. The actual marrow donation was more intense and was actually surgery.
With the test processing Sarah changed pinning her hair up in an updo for her dinner with Kris. It wasn’t an overly fancy dinner but he had said reservations and he was wearing a jacket so it had to be kind of nice. She picked out a new dress while out shopping and donned it as well as new shoes heading to show Mal before heading out.
“Damn girl you must really like this guy you never used to get this dolled up for Dr. Asshat.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “Yeah well Kris is worth it. He’s really one of the good ones. I can’t even begin to explain how now but he’s one of the good ones.” Sarah checked her watch and winced. “I better get going or I’ll be late.” she leaned over the counter kissing her friend on the cheek. “Text me your schedule and we’ll work out a lunch date.”

________________________________________________________________________

He had arrived early as was his style. Even for games he liked to be there pretty early in no way rushing to prep. He checked his watch seeing there was still a bit of time. He had a good day hanging with some of the guys playing video games. It was like old times or at least they said it was like old times. Not that they minded that he was seeing Sarah it was just unusual to have her around so much. Kris didn’t mind though in fact he liked it that way. He found comfort in her always being there. She was good at anticipating his needs by making coffee on a tired morning or always having an extra of whatever he was missing on the road.
After hanging with the guys he had gone to get a haircut. For everyone it was going to be a shocker but Sarah was going to be the first to see it. It wasn’t unusual to him. He usually cut his hair all off once a year and then just let it go. Most people would just find it weird for it to be in the middle of the season with the mojo and all. Not to mention the fans…
Seeing Sarah at the door he waver but she didn’t see him well he knew she saw him but she didn’t recognize him without his hair. She looked back and he waved again only this time she covered her mouth in shock as she approached.
“Kristopher Allen Letang what did you do to your head?” she asked standing next to him running her hand though his much shorter hair.
“I got it cut.” He shrugged stating the obvious in a matter of fact tone.
“Obviously.” she said giving him a quick kiss before taking her seat in the booth across for him.
“You sound like Staalsy.” he ran a hand over his head a bit unsure of what to do since there was no hair to push out of his face.
“Ha funny. “ she said rolling her eyes picking up the menu. It was a nice standard fare american restaurant that seemed to feature grilled things. She didn’t mind. He knew by now that she was an eater.
In looking over the menus he noticed the bandage at the crook of her arm. “You ok?” he asked brows knit in concern. “You didn’t mention any blood test today.” he figured she would have told him.
Sarah mentally kicked herself for not having removed the bandage. “It wasn’t a test for me.” she said picking the band-aid off and stuffing it in her purse. “Jason is going to need bone marrow soon and I asked Mal to run the test to see if I’m a match.”
The waiter approached the table cutting Kris off from saying anything though Sarah could tell his comment was going to be less than supportive. They gave their orders for drinks and he disappeared.
“You need your bone marrow. Shouldn’t it be family that donates or can you not donate your own?” he asked leaning forward when he noticed his voice was starting to go up in volume. “Why do you have to take this risk? You are his nurse not his Mother.” he didn’t intend for the words to have the bite that they did.
“I’ll be fine I’m healthy and still generating more than enough.” she was confused as to why this was even a big deal. It was her bone marrow to give not his. “What are you ordering?” she asked changing the subject.
“You’re changing the subject. I do not understand why you are going to such lengths for one kid.” he had met Jason once and had no clue of the special connection. She had told him but it wasn’t something easy to understand.
Sarah sighed closing her eyes behind her menu. For her Jason was more than a kid. She couldn’t help it. He was the perfect little kid whose life was so full of pain that it made everything seem unfair. “He’s not just any little kid. He’s Jay my Jay. I’ve known him since the beginning. It’s more than that he’s so brave and strong. I’m an adult and I know I couldn’t have made it though what he’s been though. He smiles all the time… I can’t not do it. I can’t just stand there and see him suffer knowing I could do something.” It was a rant but she couldn’t help it. It was how she felt.
The waiter approached dropping their drinks off. Water for the both of them. Sarah was to pissy to think about what she wanted and he didn’t like to drink before games. Their food orders were taken and the menu Sarah had been hiding behind was taken away forcing her to look at the man across the table. There was nothing to hide her agitation behind now.
“It just seems crazy to do so much for one patient. I thought you were supposed to be objective.” he took a sip of her drink not realizing how what he was saying was getting to her. He wasn’t trying to be insensitive but factual and deep down he was worried for her. It was a surgery, an unnecessary one. People died going under for much smaller things. Something like a deep bone marrow extraction could leave a festering infection that could kill her. Of course he couldn’t just come out and say those fears. He wasn’t even sure they were there.
Her face should have been more than enough to convey her feelings on what he was saying. “Do not talk to me about my job.” she lowered her tone leaning toward him a bit. “You have no fucking idea what my job is so I don’t want to hear it.” She was young but she had seen a lot. She had seen kids die, people attempt suicide, She had seen friends and family stand strong as their loved ones were in pain. He had no idea what she had seen. “I am so done talking about this. It’s just a test. I don’t even know if I’m a match so you can keep your opinions to yourself for now.” she was angry and she knew her face was getting red. Thankfully she was able to keep her tone under control.
He took a sip of his water. “Fine. I will no forget though.”
She couldn’t help but roll her eyes though she managed to keep her mouth closed on the subject. “So tell me about the hair cut.” she said changing the subject in an attempt to salvage the night.
He shrugged unsure of what to say. “It was time. I think my hair was nearly as long as yours.” he was joking a bit which a nice change of pace. He was still thinking about what she might be doing in the future to save one kid. It wasn’t all that shocking even if he hated the prospect of her going under the knife for something that wasn’t effecting her own life. It was scary… it scared him more than he could put into words. What made it so scary was that although he knew he cared about her his own reaction caught him off guard.
Dinner was nice with good food and as usual on game nights they went back to his to just sleep. He liked having her there joking that she was like a teddy bear to a child for him comforting him before a game day. They drove separately to his place parking side by side. As usual they headed in and changed into pajamas. She threw on a pair of ‘pink’ sweats that she had gotten from Nessa for Christmas the year before and a tank top taking the pins out of her hair letting it be messy and wavy as she joined him on the couch to catch the Daily Show before bed. He had on his usual sweats and a t-shirt to lounge around the house in.
Sarah snuggled under his arm doing her best to put the earlier events of the evening out of her mind. She didn’t want to fight with him especially the night before game day. It was hard to understand why he had been so mean about her doing this for Jay. She knew he had met Jay and if a kid deserved a chance to live a normal life. He was the little boy she dreamed of having one day.
“I am sorry I was pushy at dinner.” Kris said breaking the silence between them. Looking down at her he kissed her head. “It scares me to think you could be hurt in the surgery.”
She had her head on his chest and could hear his hear beating loud and rushed as he spoke. The rapidness gave away how true his words were. “It’s safe people do it all the time. Really the only thing that could happen would be me feeling like I feel on my ass real hard for a few days after.” That was as long as they went with local anesthesia. If she was put all the way under things could on occasion be a little more tricky. “Really they would just be shoving a big ol’ needle in my ass…” she stood up and took his hand placing it on the back side of her hips where her iliac crest was. “Big needle goes into the bone they suck out some stem cells, I get an excuse to complain about my ass hurting and Jay gets his immune system jump started.” she sat down on his lap running her hands though his new short hair. “Really not a big deal.”
Kris listened attentively or as best as he could till she put his hands on her then all listening was shot to hell till she said ‘no big deal’. He snapped out of his daze then. “It is a big fucking deal. It’s a surgery and it isn’t want normal people do. Normal people don’t just have a surgery to help someone.” He was pretty exasperated with the whole thing though he knew there was no way to change her mind. All there really was to keep her out of this was to hope she wasn’t a match… though this meant putting his hopes against a little kid with cancer which seemed extremely selfish.
“Fuck normal. I don’t know what impression I’ve been giving you but I thought you would know by now the only thing that is normal about my life if the way that I look.” she scooted off his lap and put some distance between them stalking to the kitchen to get herself a drink.
Sarah came back with two glasses of water. A kind of peace offering. “You’re going to have to agree to disagree with me on this because I don’t want to fight about it.” she took a drink of her water before putting the glass down on a coaster. “I don’t know what’s going to happen yet so there isn’t a need to be so worked up.”
He nodded not saying anything but he took the glass of water. “I just want to see you do what’s best for you.”
Kris had to go and say something to melt her heart just a little. ”Ugh. You’re killin’ me here.” she mumbled closing the gap between them again her hand finding the way back to his hair. She liked the feeling of the new short hair though she was going to miss the old too. “We’ll deal with this when it actually comes up.” she added glancing at him for just a moment before looking back to the tv. She felt him nod as she continued to play with his hair. That was good enough for now.

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