Fall Apart Today - Schuyler Fisk
Hockey had resumed and the usual cycle or road games and home games all seemed to blur into January. The only thing that Sarah had to break up the sameness was the occasional shift at the hospital. Jason was doing poorly more poor than he had ever done before. Each day it ate a her more and more to see Jason going down hill.
Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and made her way to the nurses station flopping down in the chair next to Mal. “Remember when we tested to see if I was a match for Jason but I asked you to not let me see the results?” she asked her friend knowing Mal would have them still.
“Yeah. You asked me to hold onto them because Kris didn’t want you to do it.” Mal turned her attention away from typing her notes on a patient to Sarah.
“Yeah. I need to see the results.” she was choosing to not listen to the part about Kris not wanting her to do it. She loved the guy but he had no say in this choice.
Mal sighed bringing up the results and Jason’s profile. Sarah scooted closer a smile spreading over her face. “I knew it. I knew I would be a match.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Mal said a worried look on her face. “Are you sure about this Sarah?”
She nodded looking Mal in the eye. “You can’t tell me you haven’t once thought about doing this for a patient. It’s a conflict of interest when you’re regularly scheduled here. Since I’m PRN I can actually do it.” she paused for a second digging her phone from her pocket going to the calendar. “Schedule it. Presby.” she said waiting for Mal to log into the UPMC system wide schedule. It took a bit of searching but February 13th the Pens didn’t have a game and Sarah wasn’t covering a shift.
Sarah felt better knowing she was doing something about the situation. Now all she had to do was encourage Jason and do what she could to get him healthy enough to accept the donation and to ward off rejection. She wasn’t planning on telling Kris at least not right away. He didn’t want her to do this for some reason and she didn’t want to bother him about it. He was in a good place having just broken a scoreless streak.
It didn’t take long for February to roll around. She was busy with Kris and the team and working with Jason who was excited to have an anonymous donation match. All the while she put off telling Kris or anyone else other than Mal. She didn’t even tell her G-Dad who had been up to see a game in that span of weeks. She arranged with Mal to drop her off and pick her up after the process. She had taken a personal day from the Pens saying she had a Doctors appointment which wasn’t a lie at all she was indeed with a Doctor.
When it came down to the day she went with Mal and waited calmly signing her self in and going into surgery prep. It wasn’t till she was starting on the anesthesia that she started to have doubts. Mal was there holding her hand as any friend would be.
“Mal you need to call Kris. He’s in practice but leave him a message.” Sarah had tears rolling down her cheeks silently as she spoke. “Tell him I’m sorry for lying or for not telling him the truth. Tell him I love him.” she smiled the IV drip making her slowly dift out. “Well don’t tell him I love him. I haven’t told him yet and it would be silly… for you to…” and she was out.
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“I can’t believe she didn’t tell him.” Mal said as she paced outside the hospital on her cell phone. “She’s been so excited and so ready for this it was as if her mind was clear and obviously it wasn’t.”
“Do not worry. I will bring him and talk to him. He will be fine. She will be fine and we will all have pizza tonight.” Max said as he talked with Mal on his way to South Pointe for practice.
“I’ve never seen Kris get mad. I mean I saw him fight at a game once but that’s it.” Mal sat down on a bench bundled up in her coat.
“He does not get mad often. He does not fight often.” Max said with a sigh. “He’s going to be mad but he will be more worried.” Max said as he pulled into the parking lot. “We’ll be there around two she will be done by then yeah?”
“Yeah.” Mal said getting up to head inside then. “She’ll be in recovery by then more not really awake.”
“Maybe that is for the best.” Max said as he shut his car off. “I will see you in a bit crazy girl.”
“Later Wild Man.” she replied before ending the call.
Mal and Max had been dating for a little over a month now and we’re having fun even adopting the occasional pet name for one another.
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Kris agreed to go out to lunch with Max after practice. A lie Max told to get him in the car. “So where are we going Tanger asked looking expectantly at his friend. “Before you say anything I am not paying. Valentine Day is coming and I got Sarah something nice.”
“Oh?” Max said looking at his friend with a big goofy grin. “Jewelry right?”
“Yes. Pair of ear rings.” he said proudly. “Emeralds. Faithfulness. So say my Mother.” Kris explained.
“We need take out.” Max said pulling into one of their favorite quick but good restaurants. “We are going to see Sarah and Mal. Sarah can’t be eating much now but a milkshake would be nice. She is a chocolate kind of girl yes?”
“Yeah. Sarah likes chocolate.” his brows knit skeptically. “Sarah had an appointment. We can’t go see her.” Kris was confused but really he was used to it happening at some point each day. More often than not someone used a phrase that he just couldn’t figure out while out in the community.
“She had an appointment yes but it was for a surgery.” Max kind of winced expecting the worst. When Kris sat quiet in the seat next to him he started to worry. “For b…”
Kris didn’t give him a chance to say it. “Bone marrow donation.” He looked to Max an obvious chance in his mood.
“She is doing it for a kid man. She is a good person doing the right thing.” Max was on her side in all of then. Then again he and Sarah were more alike than people realized. Everyone say the kooky loud side of Max Talbot but less so the sweet side that was a genuine friend.
“Yes.” was all Kris said.
They sat in silence till they got into the city proper.
“Listen man if you are angry we can’t go in there.” Max said as he found the right parking garage Mal had texted him directions to.
“Not angry. Sad.” Kris said quietly. “She did not tell me.” He was hurt and in the eyes of everyone rightfully so.
“Mon ami, she was afraid of hurting you more by telling you.” Max said with a little shrug as he parked.
Kris took his turn to shrug before getting out of the car.
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“Hey guys she just got back to the room.” Mal said looking worried at Kris. “She didn’t do it to hurt you. She did it so not to worry you.” she explained for Kris.
Kris once again said nothing just sitting in the chair next to her taking her hand.
“Let him be. Max said putting his arm around Mal. I brought you lunch.” he held up the take out bag putting what they brought for Kris and Mal on the rolling table before exiting leaving Kris and Sarah alone.
It was an hour before she finally started to stir. He wasn’t sure if he imagined her squeezing his hand or if it was real. Then her eyes opened and the tightness of her hand around his became real.
“You came….” she croaked out before clearing her throat.
“Mal called Max and he brought me. If I had known…”
Sarah closed her eyes shaking her head. “I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t want you to be mad.” she blinked a few times before shifting to press the nurse button with her free hand. “They need to know I’m awake.” she said so he understood why she called them to the room.
“Please, don’t hate me Kris.” she pleaded with him wordlessly till the nurse attending to her came in to check her out. She told Sarah to sip her milkshake and when it was gone they could talk about discharge.
When the nurse left she opened her mouth to speak again but he shushed her simply bringing his lips to her forehead. “My turn to talk yes?” he phrased it as a question but did not leave her time to respond. “I am proud of you for this.” he was being so quiet she was still worried. “I am hurt you did not tells me.” he shrugged his shoulder. “I would have fought with you about it.” he confessed. “But I would rather be mad than hurt.” he knew he wouldn’t have stayed mad at her for long.
Sarah nodded feeling all the guilt wash over her. It was horrible to go behind his back and do this. What was worse was that up until they started to put her under she had planned on not telling him. She planned on saying her aches and pains were a bit of a cold or something. She was planning on lying to this man whom she loved. Something was definitely amiss here.
“I’m sorry.” she croaked reaching for the water pitcher on the bedside table. Kris beat her to it pouring her a glass being sure to put the straw in it knowing how much she hated germs especially ones on the rims of glasses or pop cans.
All he did was nod and relax back in the chair.
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