Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Part 2 Chapter 6: In the Aftermath

A few notes...yes, even more than usual. We're to the point in the story that when I was writing this it was before the games happened and obviously a large chunk of this chapter hasn't passed in real time yet so we're talking 100% fictional. Even more fictional than usual. Also if you're aware of the soundtrack songs the song for this chapter is 21 Guns from American Idiot the musical. Lyrics, words all of it, I love for this chapter but it's not exactly title worthy. I hope you guys like this chapter it was a tough one.

Three games since Christmas, three multi-point showings for Kris. Sarah could easily see he was channeling whatever feelings of anger, frustration and hurt into his game because he sure as hell wasn’t talking to her. After the game with the Islanders he had pulled to the lead in points for defensemen and cracked the top five of all skaters.

Sarah on the other had had no one more than DTD injured and was back to regular shifts ar the hospital. They stuck her in her most hated department ever. The ER. It wasn’t the snapped bones or kids with dangerously high fevers that bothered her, it was when an all to familiar scene from her past played out. A police car would pull up and they would carry in children who were confused and more than likely dirty wrapped in scratchy blankets that usually get stored in the trunk of the cars carrying the only possession that mattered to them a teddy bear or ratty doll. It was always the worst when a sexual assault evidence collection kit was asked to be brought and completed.

December 30th was the lay that it was finally to much. An 18 hour shift that had three burns, four flu’s, two ear infections and one appendicitis and three sexual assault kit collections on a trio of Sisters removed from the custody of their parents. They were three, four and six years old. It was the straw that broke her back. She walked into the apartment which had been extremely stuffy with awkwardness since their return home. Sarah didn’t even bother to remove her coat just kicking her boots off by the door and immediately curling up on his lap on the sofa where he was watching tv.

“Bad day?” he asked stroking her hair for the first time in to her what felt like forever.

All Sarah could do was nod and lay her head against his shoulder.

“I know you hate ER.” he said as he unzipped her coat taking it off of her and tossing it into the chair across the room. When she didn’t respond he rubbed his face against her arm like a cat demanding attention would. It was one of his little physical cues he gave her always pushing her to talk or interact when she was stone walling him. When she didn’t respond he picked up her hand reading off the three names written there. “Who are Ramona, Rebecca and Ruby?” he asked catching her golden brown eyes with his dark chocolate ones.

“Remember back in the fall when I told you about what happened to me when I was little?” she said softly just resting against him.

“How could I forget?” he said shifting so he could watch her talk.

“Well it happened to these little girls too. They’re staying at the hospital for a few days and I wanted to check on them on Monday.” She sighed. “I just… no one checked on me. No one checked on me when I was at the hospital. No one could even look at me till G-Dad and Grandma got there.” She started to tear up but did her best to fight it back. “They knew but we never talked about it. I never talk about it with anyone. Mal guessed about some of it but I didn’t even tell her the whole truth. You’re the first person to really know it all.” she pushed her hair out of her face looking everywhere but at him. “I let Eric do what he did because I thought he loved me. They can tell you a million times in books and classes about your past effecting your future but I let him do what he did to me over and over again hurting me because that was my fucked up view on love. I thought when I was little if I let those men do what they wanted if I was a quiet good girl maybe my Mom would bring home KFC for dinner and we’d be a normal family. I thought she’d love me for being a good girl.” she shook her head the silent tears turning to body shaking sobs. “I thought maybe if I was a good girl fro Eric the perfect girlfriend…” she paused taking in a ragged breath. “I tried so hard to be lovely for all of them. I thought if I was a lovely little girl and a lovely girlfriend they would stop hurting me. I just had to try harder.”

He cut her rant off. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” He wasn’t sure what the quote was from but he thought it applied. It was all starting to come together in his head. He was understand why she did what she did in Montreal. He had never hurt her and she didn’t think she was deserving of his love. Those psych books of hers she had put on the shelves of the apartment that he had been secretly reading were paying off.

“I don’t deserve someone as good as you.” she whispered crying into his shoulder.

“But you do!” he said stroking her hair holding her close. “I know you don’t believe me but you do deserve love, love that will never hurt you.”

All she could do was look up at him unbelieving.

“God, Sarah I love you so much. Love you because you do this…” he picked up her hand looking at the three names. “You care about people.” He carefully shifted her from his lap going to the message pad she had put by the phone taking a sheet. Previously he would just use whatever receipts he had in his pocket or laying around. He took a piece of her message paper copying down the three names for her. He then headed to the bathroom starting up the shower for her.

“Ok bath time.” he said leading her by the hand to the bathroom putting her in the shower.

“Get in with me?” she asked softly standing in the shower just letting the water wash over her.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Kris. I’m processing a lot but my brain isn’t completely broken.” she gave him a little smile. “As in get in here the cold air is getting in.”
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“oh my God Sarah that’s two goals!” Mal said jumping up and down with her friend in the second goal celebration for Kris Letang. “Sarah do you think Kris is going to get a H-------”

Sarah covered Mal’s mouth cutting her off. “DO NOT JINX IT.” Sarah said letting to of her friend. She usually wasn’t the superstitious type but when it came to something like this in such a big game she had to err on the side of caution.

Apparently it was a beautiful day for outside hockey. 20 degrees with the wind chill dropping it down to 15. The cold winter sun over head making the eyes a white so bright it was almost hard to look at. Heinz field was crawling with Pens fans just the way it was supposed to be. With Kris’ two goals the Pens had the advantage by one. Sid wasn’t scoring, Geno wasn’t scoring no one was from around the net it was just to defensively fortified. Kris’ two goals had come on the power play.

With 9 mins left in the second Kuni, Sid and Kris flew up the ice in a three on two. Sid had just jumped out of the box took puck on side and boom drop pass to Kuni, cross ice to Tanger a rocket of a shot top shelf blocker side. Pen up 3-1 hat trick Kris Letang. Never before had anyone heard anything like that roar of the crowd and what looked like thousands of hats, scarves and gloves rained down on the ice and field that surrounded it.

It was a simple play on Kris’ next shift. He pinched down like was usual for him. It didn’t matter who took the cross ice run at him smashing his head off the boards and ice as he went down. It didn’t matter if HBO was there filming every second of it. For a moment time stood still and everyone in the stadium gasped. The hero of the game taken out with what looked like serious intent to hard. The scrum followed but Sarah wasn’t paying attention. She was charging from her seat digging through her bag for her security pass. She was working hard to separate nurse from girl friend as she made it to the runway.

She was ready to charge on the ice, ready to kill and by the look in her eye. “Clear a path!” she screamed as she stomped down the runway. She was caught by the arm by her friend and the team Chaplin Brian. “Let go of me.” she demanded. “I’m going to kill whoever did this. I’m going to kill the bastard who just dropped the man I love.” she yelled trying to yank her arm free wrenching it till it hurt her shoulder.

“Sarah Kris needs you now. He you to be you, he needs you as a nurse and as the woman he loves. Don’t go getting yourself in trouble.” he said continuing to squeeze her arm.

“I know!” she yelled back. “I know.” she said softer relaxing so he would let go of her arm.

They wheeled Kris by on the backboard head in the brace position. Sarah and Brian followed down the runway and out of the stadium.

“She rides with.” Brian said catching the door as the EMS attempted to shut them out.

“She’s the team nurse.” Chris Stewart said pulling the door back so Sarah could climb in.

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Sarah pulled on a pair of gloves. “No latex allergy.” she said seeing them looking at her. Next she snatched the pen from the paramedic’s pocket jotting down the time the hit happened. When sometime like that happens it’s second nature for her to check her watch and note the time.

She looked up as she put the pen back in the pocket seeing Kris’ brown eyes open and alert. He flinched as the Paramedic started to remove his skates.

“Just relax.” she said softly putting her hand on his chest meeting his eyes. “Be as still as you can.” she knew that would be hard for him. He was usually a fidgety mess especially when uncomfortable and being strapped to a back board was in no way comfortable.

“I’m fine.” he half groaned. “Where are we. I need to be ready when Goose hops off.”

“Can you tell me your name?” the paramedic asked.

“Kris, Kristopher Allen Letang.” he said looking between Sarah and the Paramedic who’s nametag said Rick.

Sarah made note of the time again. In total he was unconscious for 17 mins. That was a scary long time.

“Ok Kris do you know the date?” Paramedic Rick asked next as Sarah texted Chris Stewart the head trainer that Kris was conscious now.

“The first of January 2011.” he said looking at Sarah. “You’re beautiful.” he smiled a kind of flirty smile she didn’t see from him till maybe their third date when he conquered his shyness. “Your hair, makes you glow like an angel.”

All Sarah could do was touch the side of his face lightly. She loved him and was seriously afraid about what might be going on inside his head.
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They arrived at the hospital and immediately sent him up for a CT scan.

“What is your number?” he asked watching her out the corner of his eye filling in his medical history.

“Same as yours silly.” she said not thinking anything of the question as she filled in his information.

“Oh so you’re my wife. I remember.” he said smiling. “I’m a lucky man to have a wife a beautiful as you. My friends always joked that I would marry the first girl who was willing to sit in silence with me and not feel the need to talk.”

Sarah stepped closer as the orderly started to snip off his gear with scissors. “Don’t cut his pads.” she said softly. You can get them off by taking them apart.” She knew he would flip to find his pads had been destroyed. “Kris what’s my name?” she asked resting a hand on his bare chest.

He looked up at her blankly his brows then knitting. “Sweetie?” he said that weird smile returning.

“Kris I’m not your wife.” Sarah said softly working hard to maintain eye contact. She was panic stricken her heart racing. She hoped he couldn’t feel it through the pulse in her wrist.

“Not yet. But you will be.” he winked at her and she did everything she could not to tear up or give away any emotion. This was not her Kris.

“Did we win the game?” he asked to whomever could answer.

“Yeah man. That hattie of yours sealed the deal. The guy who hit you got a game misconduct and will more than likely be fined and suspended.” The tech said as he and Sarah worked to take off his chest protector sliding the back section out from under him extremely carefully.

“I’ll be just over there.” she said as she was motioned to the room behind the safety glass. She was sat down in front of the microphone and prompted to talk.

“He likes you. Just try to help him stay calm.” The tech said.

“It’s going to make some noise. Kris just be as still as possible.” Sarah said into the mic the reality of the situation her mind trying to handle.

“Dude why don’t you tell me how you met your future wife here?” The Tech asked when he saw Sarah struggling.

She turned off their end of the mic looking at the tech. “We’ve been together for over a year you know. I really love him and am kinda freaking out here.” she explained turning the volume up on Kris so they could hear his response.

“I wake up and she there sitting next to me in the…” He paused searching for the right word. “transport de carabin… she has gold brown eye and light hair. I like her light hair. She look like angel.” he said using about what Sarah thought was her panic stricken face.

“Is his speech off?” the tech asked looking at Sarah.

“No, he’s French Canadian. Plurals are always a struggle for him.” She explained.

“Ambulance Kris.” she said pointing out the right word.

“See and she smart. I like the smart angel.” he said as the machine completed it’s scan.

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Two hours and a few more tests later he was freed from the back board and neck brace given an ok to use ‘gentle movement’.

“I can not wait to go home and sleep.” he said being careful as he reached for the cup of juice with a straw he had been given.

“Are you feeling sleepy?” Sarah asked from the visitors chair next to him in the standard room he had been put on.

“Not like dat. After a game tired.” he explained. “You may not be my wife but you did my forms so you know where I live and will take me home.” he smiled that smile that was so uncharacteristically him that it worried her.
Sarah opened her mouth to speak but a knock at the door interrupted her. Mal stood there beckoning Sarah into the hall.

“I’ll be back Kris. Try not to go to sleep ok. Watch some tv or something.” she said giving him the remote control for the tv.

Sarah picked up his chart and headed into the hall where her friend waited.

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“What do you mean he doesn’t remember you? Sitting in the waiting room with Sarah going over the chart with her.

“He think’s we just met.” Sarah said with a shrug. “They always say memory loss is possible but I’ve only ever see it be temporary and with teenage football players in the ER. He hasn’t come around to remembering me yet. He’s got everything else falling into place but me.” Sarah ran a hand through her hair. “He asked me to marry him.”

“Even though he thinks you just met?” Mal asked holding an x-ray up to the light.

“No in Montreal on Christmas eve.” Sarah said with a sigh.

“OMG Sarah congratu-..” Mal paused looking at Sarah’s hands. “You don’t have the ring. Where’s the ring? Did you lose it? You better not have it‘s so perfect.”

“I said no for now but how did you… you knew!?!” Sarah asked dropping her jaw.

“You said no!” Mal shrieked looking at her friend in total shocker. “I can’t believe it. Actually I can.” Mal said as she got up. You finally get something good in your life and you just can’t accept it.” Mal stood putting the x-rays and sheets back in the file. “God Sarah you don’t always need drama and pain in your life. I don’t know what happened to you as a kid but I know what you let Eric do to you. You’ve had it rough I get it but you’re doing this to yourself.”

“Shut up Mal.” Sarah said looking down at the floor between her feet. “Just shut up.”

“You’re right I don’t know about everything but that man does and if he doesn’t I know he’s still willing to accept whatever it is.” Mal pointed to Kris’ room as she spoke. “That man fucking loves you. He would die for you Sarah, you need to get your issues dealt with or he’s gong to walk.”

“I know Mal.. I know.” Sarah chocked out through tears. “I know.” she whispered again.

“The truth is painful. Both the truths we can accept and the ones we can forgive our friends for pointing out.” Mal said sitting down next to her friend.
“Yeah.” was all Sarah could say in agreement as she did her best to dry her tears as the Doctor approached.

“I’ll see you soon Sarah. Mal said getting up. Just keep me posted ok?” Mal put her hand on her friends shoulder.

“I will.” she agreed.
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“The only thing that’s concerning me is his memory.” Sarah said to the Doctor who was slightly annoyed to be talking with a nurse rather than just hysterical family. Family didn’t have opinions or ideas they just accepted what he said.

“Well we’re going to keep him overnight. He can sleep but someone will be in to wake him every few hours. We can reassess in the morning.” The doctor closed the file.

“I’ll wake him. You don’t have to have the nurses bother I know how busy they are.”

“I’m sure you do.” he said straightening the file handing it back to her. Sarah close to ignore the somewhat snide comment.

She took a moment to call and text the necessary people keeping them aware of the most recent news. By the time she got back to the room he was asleep and the nurse was waiting on her.

“Sweetie we’ll wake him up. You need rest too.” The nurse on duty said.

“No, it’s ok.” Sarah insisted.

“Really dear. Your friend stopped by the desk and said we should insist.” Sarah sighed giving in. She was tired.

“He was just awake about 15 mins ago so we’ll be back in about an hour.” the nurse who’s name was Becky said patting Sarah on the back. “Get some rest. He’ll need you tomorrow.”

Alone in the room Sarah silently moved the chair next to his bed taking his hand as she said her head on it. “You have to come back to me.” she whispered knowing he was sleeping. “I’m so scared Kris and you’re the only person who can make me feel safe.” she whispered sniffing. She was all out of tears. “You’re the only person who can make me feel ok.” she chuckled. “I know it’s a cliché but you made me a whole person when I didn’t even know I was partially empty.”

Sarah slept there with her hand on his hand not daring to let go. She missed all the early morning flower deliveries, she even missed breakfast.

“Hey you’re drooling on me.” she heard in an all to familiar accent as the hand she hadn’t dared to let go wiggled under her face.

“Oh… sorry.” she mumbled sitting up her back cracking in a million places as she stretched.

“I can not blame you.” he said with a smile that was like the one she was used to seeing from him.

“It is a good thing you slept on my right hand.” he said making no effort to pull it from where she still held it even now.

There was a pause as they just looked at one another.

“Next time I ask you, you will say yes?”

“Yes, Kris completely yes.” she said though a combination sob and laugh.

He was back.

7 comments:

  1. So wait... did they just get engaged?!

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  2. woooo hattie for tanger (: hope you're psychic!
    confused a bit. so his memory is back at the end? i sure hope so!
    cause that means they're engaged, for reallll!
    great chapter girl!

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  3. I love your story i just hope it never ends!! my goodness girl you can write!!!!!lol

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  4. OMFG!!!! so is Kris memor back!!! i fucking hope soooo my lord i love your stories both with kris and max story...
    u are absolutely fantastic!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!

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  5. Yay thier engaged!!!! i agree with the above i want his story to go out really slow bc i love it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much lol im glad Mal stuck some sense into her and told her that she is the one preventing from anything getting official

    PLEASE UPDATE SOOOON

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  6. Pls uodate soon!!!! now excuse me im going to go read your other blog All or Nothing:MAL and MAx lol

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  7. Loved it!

    *****PS::::IM SORRY BUT could you do more intimate love scenes with them lol********

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